Critical Thinking

I seem to have a big problem with thinking critically. I remember seeing somewhere that this was a symptom of Asperger's. It's strange, however. I am usually good at thinking about things logically and coming to a good conclusion that sounds right to me, but i usually take the ideas and opinions from someone else. For instance, whenever someone asks me to go see a movie or ask me if a movie is bad or good, i will already have an opinion on it because i saw the score on Rotten Tomatoes. This automatically becomes my stubborn opinion. After this, it is very hard for me to change my mind about it. I can even trace most of my liberal leaning political beliefs to seeing Fahrenheit 9/11 in 2004. I became a full-fledged liberal after that, without even questioning the sources. Suffice to say, i made a lot of people mad with my manufactured opinions. I usually just accept things as facts. Most of the time, i don't know if someone is lying or presenting skewed information. This has also bled into my social life in a way.

I think i may have been deceiving myself at times for just picking up any opinion and making it my own. However, when it comes to questions of logic, i can be very formative in my unique opinions. It's things like movies, art, music, books, politics, and other things that are tied in emotion that i often have to steal an opinion for. I believe in evolution because it makes sense to me than creationism. I believe in socialism because it makes more sense to me than capitalism. But i cannot really tell you if a movie or book is good, i don't have that clear of a definition of it. I really can't lie and it makes me nervous to try, but if someone asks me, "what do you think of [artwork, movie, book]?" I'll usually just say, "it's good", because i think that sounds better than "I don't know". This is why i hate it when people ask me after a movie whether i liked it or not.

I have had a few critical thinking classes in college, and i am surprised at how well i did in them. I always seem to write a paper that is really slanted because i just end up sticking with one opinion, putting an opposite opinion in the paper frustrates me. For Film Theory, i basically copied and pasted whole opinions on movies into my papers, but not literally. I remember when i tried to write film reviews for Netflix, it was horrible. First off, i have serious trouble paraphrasing anything. Second, I can't ever really form an opinion on a movie without looking to another source. Lastly, i can never make it passionate enough to be convincing.

Asperger's and Me

Back in February, I was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome. Before that i was self-diagnosed, and i always thought, because of being such a hypochondriac, that none of my self-diagnoses were true. Never have i thought that i would find a diagnosis that would fit me so well. I do not have every symptom of Asperger's Syndrome and i am very high functioning. Some of my symptoms are truly subtle, and others are incredibly challenging. Strangely, i started this blog because something i did made me realize how different i am from other fellow human beings. Well, now i know why.

Ever since i was little, at least six, I have had the worst troubling socializing with my peers. In fact, every day after kindergarten through at least 6th grade, i would start crying profusely if my mom didn't pick me up right away from school or sunday school. I would get nervous and shaky after each kid would leave and i would slowly be left alone. Luckily, from 1st to 4th grade i was homeschooled and i didn't have to worry about being separated from home. Most of my childhood is blurry, but for the most part i was happiest when i was at home and with my family. I had only a few friends during this time from ages 6-10, and most were temporary. I remember i once broke off a friendship with one of my closest friends for some reason and just let my brother be his friend. I really didn't see the point of friends back then, i mostly liked playing by myself. When i did spend time with friends, i really did not enjoy hanging around more than one or two at a time. Consequently, i had a huge fear about going to camps or belonging to a sports team. I really dreaded going to sunday school and vacation bible school.

When i finally went to a school, i was in 5th grade. It was a Christian school with small classes and a small student population, but i still suffered from humiliation and a lack of good social skills. The good thing about a private christian school is that if a principal sees some kids picking on another kid, he or she will straighten them out and so will their parents. Here i was in a good position. I was initially picked on, but after awhile kids began to let me into their circle of friends, albeit unwillingly. I attained a good group of friends, and for awhile, i was a happy kid. Again, it is really hard for me to remember this time and my social struggles. But i remember that i was seen as a shy, funny guy with a unique sense of humor. I wasn't very good at sports, but i joined a basketball team that lost every game, and i joined track where i came in last every time. I was very good at video games, and i can see that as something that was present everytime when i hung out with friends. When i got this group of friends, it was nearly impossible for me to make friends outside of this circle. When i reached middle school around the 7th and 8th grade, i felt myself becoming more and more of an outsider among my adolescent friends. I remember i used to punch people in the arm as a way of saying hello. Now, this was considered rude and mean, and i didn't know why. I isolated myself from the others, because i knew i could never fit in again. I felt like the more i withdrew, the more people would feel sorry for me and let me back in their group again. Unfortunately, this didn't work.

X-men Origins

So, every now and again i see something that good Old Hollywood churns out. This time, it was X-men Origins: Wolverine. I must say, I didn't really learn anything about him except that he used to have bone claws and Sabertooth was his half-brother. What i did see was a bunch of explosions and more of that Action movie stuffing.

It is said that action movies died in the late 80's, but they have found new ground in superhero/comic movies. Wolverine is that lone hero fighting for justice in the world. He and Sabertooth go through 4 wars together (i guess they are immortal). The last war they fight in is Vietnam, where (for some reason), Sabertooth goes on a rampage and starts killing everyone (typical for Vietnam). The two half-brothers are recruited by a corrupt army sargent (Mr. Strike), and are brought to Lagos, Nigeria to recover a strange object made from Adamantium. This scene in Lagos is interesting because Strike's army of mutants go on a killing spree in a diamond factory, not to overthrow its boss, but to recover the adamantium. Obviously it is okay to kill third world Africans for no reason. Anyways, after this incident the team of mutants break off from each other and form separate lives, until Sabertooth comes and tries to kill all of them (i don't remember why). Wolverine, the lone ranger, lives as a lumberjack in Canada with his Native American wife. After Sabertooth kills his wife trying to get to Wolverine, Strike offers to make Wolverine able to kill Sabertooth. This is where Wolverine is fitted with all the metal crap in his body. and boom! and bam! and crash and burn! and final fight! and then its over.

I found myself very bored during the film. There wasn't much for me to relate to or think about. it was mindless and unengaging. Ryan Reynolds and Will.i.am are in this, so be prepared. I mentioned Sabertooth in this review, but he is never called by that name, Juggernaut is in here too but not mentioned by name either. I think it was supposed to take place in the 70's but it looked like it took place in 2010!

1001 Movies to See Before you Die: Zabriskie Point (1970)

If you haven't seen Michelangelo Antonioni's first American film, then you are in for a treat. You may know it as Pink Floyd's movie (besides the Wall), since they did the entire soundtrack with Jerry Garcia too. Antonioni is best known for his epic realism in his films such as L'avventura, Blow Up, L'eclisse, and Il Deserto Rosso. It wasn't well recieved at first, but over time it has been established as a landmark in art cinema. Zabriskie Point can be seen as Antonioni's examination of the Hippie/revolutionary movemento of Southern California in the late 60's, early 70's. The film starts in a meeting hall at a College where about 50 students gather to discuss revolutionary change. Daria and Mark are the two students who speak out during this event, and the film starts to follow them as the main characters. Daria and Mark are the actors real names. These two people are non-professional and come from communes. This shows in the amazing realism throughout the film.

A few things casual moviegoers should know about art cinema. It manipulates time and narrative structure. It can sometimes seem plotless and the characters can sometimes seem incoherent and chaotic. Zabriskie Point fits well into this category, which may perhaps be why it was so badly recieved at first. People were tricked into believing this was a typical American movie. If you see any of Antonioni's other films, you will see that he is not hollywood at all.

Anyways, we learn that after Mark is framed for shooting a police officer, he moves out into a Desert town by stealing an airplane. Daria seeks him out and then something really crazy happens. A big giant orgy in the middle of the desert, in Zabriskie Point. Hundreds of couples consummate in the dust of the desert, creating a stark surrealism not seen in many American films of the day. I don't really know how to analyze this scene without sounding really corny (free love!). but here is the best part:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rxpfO90mg8


You will like this if you like:

-to do lots of Drugs and watch movies
-counterculture
- desert orgies
-Art Cinema
-Pink Floyd
-revolutions

You will hate this if:

-you can't stand art cinema (i.e. long takes, loose narratives, surrealism)
- you hate Hippies

1001 Movies to See Before you Die: Deep End (1970)

thanks to this new torrent site, i am able to find all sorts of great pieces of cinematic awesomeness.
Deep end is one of those great films that came out in the late sixties/early seventies right when experimentation and subversiveness was at its prime. It is in the book, 1001 Movies to See Before you Die, which is of course my cinematic bible, and i plan on watching all of these.

this British film depicts the life of a Spa (or Bath in Britain) attendant named Mike. A sexually frustrated 15 year old, he ultimately pens down his boss, Susan, as his obscure object of desire. His sexual frustration is epitomized in his akward stance and his interactions among the old women at the Spa. These women continually seduce and molest him, lending to many bizarre sequences. Susan, inevitably, is the only sane and young woman in his life. After Mike's mom and dad come to visit and Susan refuses to serve his mother, she quickly becomes his new surrogate mother. When Mike learns that Susan is engaged, he begins a voyeuristic conquest. He first finds her at an X-rated theater, where he is caught and arrested for feeling her up. Susan ends up dropping the charges, revealing that she, too, wants to play Mike's demented game. He finds that Susan, in addition to being a spa attendant, is also a porn star. His voyeurism turns to sadism as he picks up a full-size cardboard nude pop-up of susan and starts carrying it around everywhere. He finds Susan on a train and begins to taunt her with it, leading up to a violent incident. In one of the most unsettling scenes in the film, Mike takes the pop-up to the pool and begins to use it as a sex doll. Mike's sadism returns again when he pops her car tires with a glass. In the final sequence, Mike knocks off Susan's engagement ring in the snow. When he finally finds the diamond after melting all the snow in the pool, he threatens to swallow it for losing his virginity with Susan.

The ending I won't spoil for you. This is a great film that delves into the pyschology of scopophilia (sexual satisfaction from nude images or basic images). Mike voyeurism quickly turns into sadism and culminates at the end (there's a hint). We as specators also suffer from Mike's condition. We see all of these wonderfully escapist films and hope that one day we can live within that fairy tale. Pornography, additionally, brings us into a world of perfected sexuality. It seems easy to see why so many people become addicted to these mediums. It is entertainment through Voyeurism.

Note: this movie is not available anywhere in the United States, better luck torrenting it.

Individualism and other thoughts

Individualism is a myth. at least here in America it is. we are all the sum of consumer merchandise. "If you want to be different, an individual, wear this, buy this, drink this, etc." it is never think this or believe this. America is not really a democracy, it functions more like a capitalist autocracy. Our belief in freedom only amounts to the freedom we find in the marketplace. "Oh, i can eat at McDonald's or Burger King, i can shop at Kroger or, if i want to make a difference, i can shop at Whole Foods". The greatest part about being environmentally friendly is that you don't have to bother your senators or representatives about the environment, you can just buy that Green Clorox bottle. If this was political dictatorship, the government might trick us into voting democratically for puppet governments. I'm guilty of all of these things and more. I used to think that boycotting a product from one corporation and putting my money in another actually made a difference! i was wrong. I am lazy. I am a Generation X baby spawned from the baby's of the baby boomers. I am the leftovers from the Hippie Movement, the Sexual Revolution. At least in the 60's there was some form of protest and some rejection towards consumer culture. Somewhere in the 80's we stopped caring and let the infantilist ethos of consumer culture take over us. Somewhere, we learned to stop trusting the government and start trusting capitalism. And thus, i come to my point: individualism and identity cannot be achieved through consumerism. Stereotypes are false when based on genetics, but when based on social status and wealth, they are true. Take the popular blog, Stuff White People Like. Many people are shocked and amazed that they fit in so well to stereotypes. Shopping at Whole Foods, eating organic, using Apple computers, listening to indie music, bottled water, and hating corporations. All of these stereotypes can be seen as a rejection towards normalcy, towards normal grocery stores, regular food, public water, PCs, mainstream music. I am guilty of all of these, but i have come to realize that the rejection against mainstream consumerism and the push towards alternative consumerism has created a paradox. Capitalism is not democracy. drinking bottled water is not going to make public water cleaner. Eating organic isn't going to make all food organic. Rather this form of consumerism is creating larger and larger gaps between the rich and the poor. The poor will continue to subsist on public goods and over-processed food, while the rich will find a private good that is better, more efficient, and more trustworthy. It is really a wonder, rich conservative, "freedom"-lovers, that public schools are failing, that the police are underfunded, that public transportation is slow? it is because the middle-class and up have found private schools, private police, gated communites, private health care tax free-havens (like John's Creek where i live), bottled water, and big gas guzzling SUVs and highway systems. And then, take Georgia for example, these same suburbanites complain about their seemingly high taxes and the casinos and alcohol sundays that would generate the tax gap in Georgia's budget. It seems perfectly reasonable that States would use "Sinful" things to generate revenue, they are missing that big chunk of taxes from the greedy rich people.